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Thursday, December 16, 2004

Don't Cry for Me, Argentina 

the STORY of Cervazo
 
Are you ready for a wonderful, sad story?  It's all about a little girl who came to us over a year ago.  Cervazo was our foster daughter, but now she's gone.
 
[dramatic pause]
 
well, sorry folks, but im not gonna tell the story.  you see, i have to be careful not to let the STORY of Cervazo become larger than Cervazo.
 
[what exactly do i mean?] 
 
well, these days i work with what's in front of me (the future, my surroundings) and i prefer facts (Friday: Just the facts, Ma'am).  Feelings are fine, they come they go, I work to let them wash over me (remember SpongeBob - absorbent, and yellow and porous is he)
 
[why limited punctuation?]
 
*purely for dramatic and aesthetic reasons*
 
so, if i tell you my sad tale of woe (which it really isn't) about how lil Cervazo was ripped from our house after a year or so of raising her as our own, you really need to think further back, and imagine the scene at Cervazo's *real* home when she was taken from her birth mom, Merlot, and, by way of some agencies, brought to us.  Same scene, but perhaps worse.
 
The *trick*, and im not saying it is easy all the time, is to keep Cervazo and her needs out ahead of everything else.
 
What I really want:
 
That Cervazo may be safe wherever she is, and always be given the opportunity to live, grow and thrive. 
 
(if that sounds like a prayer, then perhaps it is)
 
[are prayers just wishes in disguise?]
 
    -- Trans-Siberian Orchestra, from Christmas Eve and Other Stories, This Christmas Day
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000002JX6/103-8235518-8235847?v=glance
 
 
If Merlot can provide that, then she's a loving and competent Mom.
 
Let go the past, let go your preconceptions about how things SHOULD be and who deserves what.  The Universe owes nothing to anyone.
 
[but that's not fair!]
 
who ever said the Universe plays fair?  the Universe doesn't even understand the concept.  Events just are.  [feces precipitate].  devoid of meaning.  devoid of emotion. devoid of names.  [the tree doesn't know it's a tree]
 
[and no, i don't really like Madonna.] 
 
what i mean is that im not in sympathy with some of her life choices, and im probably jealous of her fortune and fame, despite that.
 
but i do like her voice and some of her songs. 
 
especially Vogue, as performed by the Chipmunks.  check it out...
 
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000029ZJ/103-8235518-8235847?v=glance
 
breathe.
evolve.
laugh.

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